The House of Applesauce
by Black Spell
Summary: summary inside.
1. Apples are good, but Bakas aren't

House of Applesauce

Summary: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to eat applesauce night and day? Yusuke and the gang find out when they get locked inside a house full of it. The only way out is to eat all of it. The problem, they have to finish it in two weeks. R&R bye!

Chapter 1: Apples are good, but Bakas aren't

On top of a hill sits a house. It's not an ordinary house though. It's part of an old plantation famous for apples. This is where four people stood, the spirit detectives.

"What was the mission again?" asked Kuwabaka, I mean bara.

"Koenma just said to check the place out, starting from the inside"

He blinked and stood there as the others walked in.

"Hey! Wait for me!"

Yusuke shook his head, "Baka"

As soon as they were all inside, the door slammed shut.Kuwabara started to scream like the big baby he is. Kurama, being smart, tried to open it, but it was locked. Yusuke swore loudly. Suddenly a voice called out.

"Welcome to my home."

Kuwabara – who had stopped screaming about the time Yusuke swore- started to scream again.

"who are you?" asked the ever so smart Kurama.

"No one of importance my dear kitsune. No one important at all. Just an observer"

"What do you want?"

" To see if you can live and escape. This house is full of one food, well, actually two, but they fit into the same category. Oh well. If you don't eat it all within two weeks, you shall perish!"

Their mouths dropped and all was silent until Yusuke spoke up.

"What kind of food? Apples?"

The voice laughed, "In a sense. People that have _survived_ this house gave it a name. Try to guess it will you. It amuses me so."

"Are we ever going to meet you?" asked Kuwabara stupidly.

"Yes, either before you leave, or before you die"

That did it. Kuwabara fainted right then and there.

"looks like the human couldn't stand the thought of death."

Hiei started to pull his ward off from his Jagan, but was stopped.

"Don't try it Forbidden One, you cannot find me. It is impossible. Besides, there are wards all over the place."

He grumbled as he put it back on.

"good boy. Now find your rooms or do whatever. The only drinks here are water, coke, and milk. The door to the kitchen is to your left. I'll be watching all the time!"

With that said, the voice shut up. The boys toured the two-story house carefully. Kuwabara was left in the living room, just now waking up.

Yusuke –being the 'bravest' of them all – was the first to head upstairs. Only one door was locked. He swore. Kurama came up the stairs unnoticed.

"What's wrong Yusuke?"

Yusuke jumped and whirled around, "Don't do that!"

"I'm sorry, but I'll ask again if I have to"

"Stupid door is locked, maybe the weirdo is in there"

They once more heard the 'creepy' and cheerful voice.

"That room has nothing but weapons, deadly animals, and more"

"How do you keep the animals alive?"

"Feed them leftovers, the remains of past victims, and every now and then a bird or live creatures"

"There is no smell of blood"

"They eat the food whole"

Once more the voice disappeared.

"Well, that doesn't help anything. I'm sleeping downstairs" stated Yusuke.

"Hn. The bedrooms are all up here detective"

This made Yusuke jump and whirl around again. Somehow, he didn't hit the wall. He gave Hiei a glare.

"Jumpy aren't we Yusuke" This time, Kurama was graced with the glare.

"Shut up"

Kuwabara then ran up the stairs and somehow didn't fall back down them.

"Hey guys! The only food here is applesauce!"

Yusuke started laughing, " Good one Kuwabara!"

"Oh yeah? Well, just follow me?"

They did (even though Hiei tried not to). He showed them that he was right. The refridgerator was full of apples and applesauce, the cabnits had bowls cups napkins, towels, and……..a whole lotta spoons.

Yusuke's mouth dropped. For once, the baka was right! They stared at the spoons (Kuwabara swore that they were staring back). They outnumbered everything put together!

Kurama and Hiei were the first to look away and Yusuke was the first to speak.

"Why are there more spoons then anything?"

No one answered. The voice decided to grace them once more.

"Wrongo hanyou. There are more apples and applesauce in the basement"

"How is that possible?" (Kuwabara)

"It's like a very large fridge so you don't have to worry about being too hot"

"You mean that the basement is a fridge _and_ a huge air conditioner?" (wow, Kuwabara said a big word)

"Yeppers. Now you'd better get a snack or eat dinner before you go to bed!"

They sweatdropped as the voice 'disappeared' into 'nothingness', but they did as it said. At 10:30 P.M. they went to bed.

_In the Barn_

She turned to the shadow in the corner, taking her pendant off. A screen behind her showed the boys.

"Are you sure about this?"

He stepped out and into the light. His scarf (or is it a capes?) flowed at every step. He gave her a short nod.

"Yes Sakura. I'm very sure"

"Is the death threat going to be carried out if they do not complete the task?"

"No, they'll just have to work harder"

She smirked and nodded.

"Anything else you wish me to do tonight my lord?"

"No, get some rest for tomorrow"

She bowed as he left. _This is going to be interesting_, she thought, _very interesting_.

She laid down on her mattress he had set for her, covered up, and drifted off to sleep.

_End Chapter_

Yes, this is weird, but I had the strangest idea and this turned out. Please Review. Bye!


	2. Sleep? Who can sleep here?

Thank you all who reviewed (which is one, but I don't care). As you can plainly see, I am updating. Finally the second chapter is here for your enjoyment. **goes crosseyed** Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, must kill lesbian dogs and gay squirrels! **blinks** Huh, oh, sorry.

Yoko: riiight

Black Spell: shut up kitsune

Yoko: make me

Black Spell: later on maybe

Disclaimer Dude: Black Spell sadly does not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of their characters. She does own Sakura, the pendant, the plantation, the barn, Acck **dies**

Black Spell: ON with the chapter!** tries to hide sword behind back**

Chapter 2: Sleep? Who can sleep here?

The next morning, Kurama got up with the sun. He was just getting out of the shower when the 'voice' called out.

"Rise and shine people! How did everyone sleep?"

Yusuke mumbled something before responding, "I _didn't_ sleep! Who can sleep here?"

"Apparently your three friends did, but I'm not sure about the ningen."

He grumbled again as he got up and then promptly fell flat on his face and swore loudly.

"Now,now. None of that."

The 'voice' 'disappeared' after a few giggles.

_Barn Time!_

Sakura took of the pendant as a woman in a pink kimono appeared behind her.

"Hello Sakura! Are the boys up?"

"Yepperoni. Tell his Lordship that all is well and according to his stupid plan"

The woman nodded and left with a 'poof' and a very cheery wave. Sakura turned back to the screen and watched the boys for a short time while they ate breakfast. She smirked as she put on her pendant.

_With The Boys (Kuwabara is a male?)_

They were talking while Kurama – being the nice guy that he is – did the dishes.They went silent as the voice spoke up again.

"I hope you guys ate well! The only places you can go are anywhere in this house and out back. Don't try to jump the fence."

"Ooookay" said Kuwabara.

"You can train there. The room across from the kitchen is a library and the TV _does_ work."

"And here I thought that you were going to make us suffer by dieing of boredom" (Yusuke)

"Never, I want to see if you can complete the challenge."

"What challenge?" (Kuwabara)

"To see if you can eat most, preferably all, the apples and applesauce in two weeks or less."

"Oh……What if we don't?"

"……You'll die."

With that 'topic' 'discussed' the 'voice' left.

Kuwabara got up and went to watch corney soap opras on TV (why I don't know), Yusuke and Hiei went outside in the orchard to train, and Kurama went into the oh-so-quiet library. Unfortunately, Yusuke tried to jump the fence to see what would happen…it wasn't pretty.

_Barn Time_

Sakura turned and set the pendant down on the stand beside her. Her 'lord' was back.

"What happened?"

"Urimeshi tried to jump the fence. He was shocked and burned at the same time liked planned."

"Damn, and I thought that Kuwabara would be the first to do that!"

"So did I sir, so did I"

"Didn't you warn them?

"Yes, I did. That ningen, Kuwabara, is really annoying and stupid. He's watching soap opras!"

"Yes, but he has his uses"

She nodded and he left. Turning around, she grabbed the pendant and set it infront of her. Sighing, she once more focused on the screen.

_Boys!_

Yusuke was starting to head into the barn when he hit a barrier. He heard the 'voice' again.

"Sorry, no going in or around the barn."

'It' still didn't seem any closer and he got up and walked away. He met up with Hiei who was cutting apart apples hanging in one of the many trees.

"Apparantly, we're not allowed in or past the barn"

"Hn…..I saw."

"figures"

_Inside the house_

Kuwabara got up –tears running down his face– and walked into the kitchen for a coke and then slipped as he returned. Fortunately, the can wasn't open.

He grumbled and sniffed as he got up. Kurama stood in the doorway of the library chuckling. He had seen what had happened.

"Shut up Kurama"

"Can't you laugh at your own misfortunes?"

Kuwabara raised an eyebrow –which just made him look stupider– and walked back to his 'soaps'. Kurama shrugged.

"It makes life easier"

"yeah, whatever"

Kurama then went back into the 'sanctuary' called the library (maybe I should call it his 'lair' instead?)

_Barn_

Sakura sighed and stood up. Her silver hair hung in her face.

"this job is too much"

She streched and sat back down in her seat. The pendant glowed in the light of the screen from where it sat. She picked it up and slipped it around her neck, smirking.

_With Kurama_

He set the book down and looked up. It was too quiet. A while ago he had heard and sniffling Kuwabara go outside. Now, he expects the 'voice' to speak, but so far it hasn't.

"Hello Kitsune"

Well, forget it. I spoke too soon. He didn't answer.

"I hope you're enjoying the silence"

" I _was_ until you spoke up"

"Oh, no need to be so sarcastic!"

Once more, he didn't answer.

"Fine, I'l leave you alone for now."

The 'voice' went silent and he continued his book.

_Outside_

Kuwabara was on the ground with a black eye and blood oozing out of his nose. Hiei smirked while Yusuke laughed. The baka (Kuwabara) had run into Yusuke's fist, literally. He got up and stomped into the house.

The other two followed shortly. They were all watching TV (boxing) when our 'lovable' 'voice' called out again.

"Lunchtime boys!"

Yusuke jumped off the couch and landed two feet away from it on his ass.

"Do you always have to announce everything!"

"Yes, rememeber, I moniter you _and_ I _have _to tell you what to do. Afterall, you are in _my_ house."

Yusuke mumbled, but complied. A few moments later, they were easting 'peacefully' an apple/applesauce salad (don't ask) and of course….a bowl of applesauce.

_Barn_

He appeared and startled her. Luckily, she didn't have the pendant on.

"Yes sir?"

"How are they faring?"

"Better then expected. Apparantly, Hiei doesn't want to die."

"Nah, he wants revenge on Yusuke."

"Oh, that explains it"

They stayed silent until the woman in pink reappeared.

"Sir, your father is becoming impatient"

"Yes, I know. Let him know that I'll report to him as soon as I return."

"Yes sir"

With a slight bow, she disappeared.

"troubles at home?"

He sent her a glare that said 'yes, but it's not of your concern'. She focused on the screen infront of her as he backed up against a wall.

_Boys, house, whatever_

Yusuke sighed as he flipped through the channels, "man, I'm bored."

This caused them all to look up.

"We all are Urimeshi" (guess who……that's right, Kuwabaka, er, I mean, Kuwabara.)

That, of course, gave Kurama and Hiei entertainment while Yusuke mauled Kuwabara. Once that was over, boredom set in again.

Yusuke, being stupid, suggested 'Truth, Dare, Fire'. They all agreed (except Hiei)

:Warning- Humor ahead:

(I will put names after the quote thingys in () so you won't be confused)

"Okay…I'll start……..Kuwabara" (Yusuke)

"Truth" (Kuwabara)

"Do you have a brain?"

"ummm, I don't know" (Kuwabara)

"He has one, he just never uses it" (Kurama)

"Ummm, Kurama" (Kuwabara)

"Dare" (Kurama)

"Hit Yusuke with your whip-thingy" (guess)

"No, Koenma would kill me……..Kuwabara" (Kurama)

"Fire" (dumbass)

"Run at the fence full-force and try to jump it" (Kurama)

"Okay" (O.O Bakayarou!)

He did and it wasn't at all pretty. It was horrible. Well, with only two people left, they quit. (Not much humor, but it'll do) Playing with just two people isn't fun (and neither is playing with a perv.)

When Kuwabara finally woke up, it was about 8:30 P.M. That was when the 'voice' decided to make an entrance.

"DINNER TIME!"

Yusuke glared at the ceiling.

"NO!"

"If you don't you will be in a lot of pain until you do!"

Once more, he refused and was hit by apples, empty jars, spoons, bowls, and…….empty pop cans. He finally agreed and was covered in bruises.

After they ate, Kurama did the dishes because Yusuke and Kuwabara are too lazy and Hiei disappeared. An hour later, he reappeard.

"Bedtime boys!"

They grumbled, but complied because they didn't want the same thing to happen to them as Yusuke had.

_Barn_

Sakura took off the pendant and laughed. Unfortunately, her 'boss' wanted her to moniter them all night. She was going to need a lot of coffee.

_End Chapter_

Black Spell: Sadly, I cannot update like I want to 

Yoko: Why?

Black Spell: High School and grandma is in rehab

Yusuke: Hwat'd she do? Drink?

Black Spell: HELL NO! She had open heart surgery

Yusuke: okay. R&R or she'll kill us all. Bye!


	3. Author's Note

I am sad to say tah tthese stories have been put on hold:

Cold Hearts

Love on Ice (for a while)

Kitsune Love

Days at Hogwarts

New Enemy, New Allies

Playing with Fire

Realms of Mystery

The House of Applesauce

Sorry, I can't find the documents holding these and my other computer is down.

Thanks for your cooperation!

Black Spell


End file.
